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03-Dec-2017 01:56

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"The kind of guy that has trouble with intimacy is love-avoidant," he says.

Friends create, analyze, and reinforce the excuses and reasons that women come up with because it could just as easily be them with this dating dilemma.

After a magical first date, Susan was so sure that she would hear from Stephen again that she even boasted to friends that she'd met "the one." Two agonizing weeks later, she was shocked that she never did. Ever since talk show host Oprah Winfrey featured the book, , on an episode of the Oprah show, it's been flying off of book shelves and racing up the best-seller list.

"Maybe he got back together with his ex," one friend piped in. Its contents are discussed by single women and their dating friends everywhere.

"The book is implicitly teaching women to have good psychological boundaries, meaning that if he's just not that into you, it's not your problem, it's his and you need to deal with the fact that for whatever the reason this guy is not interested in a relationship with you," he says.

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"If you are on your hands and knees with a magnifying glass looking for a needle in a haystack as to why he stopped pursuing you, you're nuts. "Maybe he doesn't like redheads or maybe you have a broad face like his mother or maybe you don't have a broad face like his mother." It may be an intimacy issue on his part, Real says.

"Everyone identifies with the victim, so to speak, and hopes that when they are in these same shoes, their friends can also think of reasons that he has not called," she says.